Fisayo Speak's

Marrying your best friend is such a cliche

by Měilìfisayo

I still don’t get why everyone is obsessed about marring their “best friend” but lets just blame it on social media, TV adverts etc. so, what is the proper definition of marriage?

“Marriage is a legal binding of two people as partners in a personal relationship”

Back to the topic at hand. Don’t get me wrong being in love is such a beautiful feeling and you get all those gooey mushy warm feeling in your belly every time you are around that person. However, in reality especially in marriage you can never be in love everyday trust me; as that same person will irritate the living hell out of you and annoy you on different occasions.

Two individuals coming together from completely different walks of life with different idealogy living together is very challenging and that is my truth. A lot of people at this day and age marry for different reasons which are:

  • Having the same goal in life and supporting each other through it in terms of their dreams and aspirations
  • Financial stability
  • Great business partners
  • Having similar ways of bringing up their child
  • Similar faith and belief
  • Have similar interest and hobbies etc

I want to believe that most couples have most of what I listed above but definitely wont have all of it until I see that 1% I will stand by this. Lets look at the history of how marriage has changed over the decades.

In the 1950s, men and woman marriage was more of a gender divide and I will not be surprise if some marriages are still based on this ideology. Let me explain using this quotes;

Husband – “My wife is a good cook, good mom and a good listener but I can’t talk to her as she can’t understand my work”

Wife  – ” My husband is a good provider but doesn’t understand my mood or what the kids needs”

Lets now go to the 1970s and 1980s , this is when more woman entered the workforce and there was a little equality which is pretty much the beginning of the friendship marriage. And by the 1990s our expectation of marriage now include mutual respect and understanding of each other as an individual which I am absolutely down with and I think its great.

As much as I love and respect the shift that has happened over the decades the reality in the 2000s is people aren’t seeking a person that they love as you can have this same feelings for anybody that you wont even get married to or be in a relationship with and that’s just the truth.

Here is why; recent studies have shown that life satisfaction gained from marriage has doubled in recent years hence the term “friendship” came about. But my question is why is the word “wife” or “husband” not enough for us in this generation anymore instead of replacing it with the word “best friend”?

Don’t paint me as an hater as I will still like that cute picture you post on social media but when I see “best friend” in your caption I will probably just roll my eyes as its not what I believe in he he. Regardless, of what you want to call your partner which is none of my business, the marital ideology is collectively shifting and maybe that saying “best friend” is more easier to stomach –  I don’t know!!

But one thing I do know is “marrying your best friend” is such a cliché. Comment below what you thought’s are on this topic pleaseeeeeee.

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MeiliFisayo xxx

49 thoughts on “Marrying your best friend is such a cliche”

  2. This is a very impressive write. I do agree that your significant other will indeed “drive the hell out of you”.
    However, I am old fashioned I suppose. I still believe in getting married to someone you truly LOVE.

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  4. It’s crazy how views have changed around marriage over the years. You raised some really interesting points and put together a great honest read.
    Marriage isnt all fairy tales like it’s made out in the movies and I think many people become disappointed realising they still have to work on their relationship.
    Thank you for sharing.
    Alyssa
    THESACREDSPACEAP.COM

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  5. Had a great time reading this post! Marriage has its challenges and its not all sparkles and rainbows. Love your outtake on it. Great post!

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  7. Thought provoking topic! Personally I love him but the bestie title not sure. Marriage is beyond friendships but involves in a good friendship foundation !

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  8. Very interesting topic that I haven’t thought about. I admit I’m guilty of calling my boyfriend my best friend but I can understand why not everyone agrees with it and marriage in particular is different for everyone! It’s definitely becoming less common to marry so young, which may be down to the financial side of things. Great read!

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  11. This was a very interesting read. I do think the person I am marrying should be one of my best friends though because I think that makes it a little easier.

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    1. Marriage is different because each individual has a role to play and being bff becomes a bit harder cos you argue, get on each other nerves and the only thing I personally think the thing that Keeps it going is the life satisfaction you give each other.

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  12. This is an interesting topic.
    I’ve been with my other half for nearly 7 years and although we love each other deeply it’s tough and although I think of him also as a best friend I wouldn’t discuss everything with him. Social media portrays relationships so blissfully and perfect but in reality it’s not.
    Great post!

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  15. Hi MĚILÌFISAYO,

    I agree that times are changing, and I enjoyed your blog post. As I read the article, I wondered if younger generations have a different definition of best friend vs. spouse when compared to past generations.

    Thanks,

    Jennifer

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  16. Even best friends without any sexual attraction fall out, so a married couple (or long term relationship) can be best friends too. My boyfriend is my best friend. Yes we fight, but we make up and that’s what’s important. Interesting points raised though!

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  17. I’d never marry my “best friend”, I mean we talked about dating a few years back after we started being intimate, but we both agreed that we’d end up hating each other (he’s afraid I’d kill him hehehe) because the reason we get along so well is having the space and distance to both enjoy our individual intense interests while being close enough for our shared passions as well.

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  19. Marriage is growth, connection, and understanding even when those moments when you are going through ish. Great take on this marrying your best friend. I believe when a wife calls her mate their best friend it is because they survived the ugly-ish and still together.

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  20. Very fun post! I agree that “Best fried” has become a cliche and I relate to your eye-rolling. I think for some people, who perhaps have been together a while, it might actually be true. But I think most are just saying it because, as you mention, it has become a cliche. The phrase is used without really thinking about what it actually means. They are probably infatuated with each other and just use the phrase as another way of saying “I love you.” But best friends? Probably not.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

    Roger

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  21. I believe that, as Aristoteles once said, the truth lies in the middle. I have seen best friends marrying and failing, as many times as I have seen pure sexual/romantic partner failing too. To success in such a long and important long-term relationship you must have both things, I believe.

    My husband and I married four years ago but have been together for the last 15 years now. No, it is not all wine and roses but at the end of the day, we are still in love (as shocking and unusual as it is) and we truly are best friends. We share most values and the same life vision, but at the same time we are still going on dates, romantic holidays and the such.

    We decided we don’t want any children, and sometimes we ask ourselves if this has anything to do with how relaxed and easy-going we are with each other thus far.

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    1. I totally agree with you… you grow into the best friend thing After marriage not before (at least that how I see things). But saying you marry you best friends before embarking on the marriage journey is such a Cliche. So in you case you both are definitely best friends now as you both have the same alliance or goals. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts I truly appreciate it

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  22. Truthfully, I think it depends on the individuals. I’ll preface this by saying my boyfriend and I aren’t married (obviously if he’s still my boyfriend) which is a mutual decision because we aren’t in a rush at the moment and don’t see the point. However, I can see why people would say that. Originally, my boyfriend and I met playing soccer and started dating. We weren’t best friends, just interested parties. Over the past five years, we have essentially become the epitome of best friends. We do everything together, consult each other with different problems and enjoy our time together. We also bicker and argue, but that’s life. At the end of the day, we still love each other.

    While I do agree that some marriages are simply a partnership, I can understand why some people say they marry their best friend. And also, I would probably never caption something like that because that’s not who I am, I do consider us to be best friends so one day if we get married, I will be marrying my best friend.

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    1. I see things differently; in relationships you get to know eachother but marriage is a whole different ball game and for me someone who can say they married their best friends are couple who have been married for aleast 4 years. So, new couple who says that I don’t believe them but they are entitled to feel that way. It’s just my opinion. I have known my husband since we were 19 and being married for 2 years but I won’t call him my best friend but I know we ve got each other’s back. That’s just my view lol

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